One of the things that runs through your mind when you learn you are pregnant is “Wait, what about my old life? Is it over?” One hard adjustment to motherhood is that, yes, your old life has, sort of, ended. I remember thinking how much I would miss late nights out with my husband. Some of my best memories are walking through San Francisco in heels and jewels at 2AM with him, hailing a cab because we missed the last train home.
Then today we had brunch (with baby) and my world opened up to a new way of going out. This was the FIRST time all three of us left home together for something that didn’t involve a trip to the pediatrician. No, there were no cocktails or smoky rooms, I wore flats, and my nails were bare. But, it was one of the most beautiful days. The baby laughed. I ate the flakiest, most buttery, still warm pan au chocolat. I breastfed the baby in public, no shame. The baby slept and my husband pushed the stroller along the streets of the sleepy college village. Stopped at a cafe. It was romantic in a way I didn’t expect. It hit me: this is my life and and hey, it’s pretty wonderful.
I’ve always listened to this song and felt kinda sad, but today I thought: yes, I am learning to handle them.
p.s. Thank you for all the responses and support on my last post. I feel much more connected to many of you. <3